Jay is a singer and songwriter who has had a relationship with music from a very young age. The musician, who also identifies as a trans man, taught himself to play the keyboard at only five years old, and later in life went on to pursue music at Los Angeles’s Musicians Institute. Now, not only has he sung the title track for the recent Taapsee Pannu starrer Looop Lapeta but is also a music educator.
My Kolkata caught up with the musician, who curated a Spotify playlist with Absolut which helped support new voices, during his collaboration with Be an #AbsolutAlly.
My Kolkata: Hi Jay, Happy Pride! Is Pride Month something you commemorate in any way?Jay Anand: Usually, it is just about celebration for me. You get to meet and connect with a lot of people, celebrate and talk. It is a good connecting point for the community because they feel there is a safe space which people have created over the years and they can be themselves.
Tell us about your journey with music. You have mentioned before that music was something that you enjoyed since you were a baby before you could even walk or sit.
There was a new Michael Jackson album that my father had gotten his hands on. To date, Michael Jackson is one of my favourite artistes and eventually, my elder sister got a keyboard to play with because she did well educationally. She got bored of it in about a month or two, so that was a hand-me-down that I got and organically picked up. I started learning music from there with hobby classes and during summer breaks.
Michael Jackson is one of Jay’s favourite artistes
That was back in 1999 so I was about five when I started playing an instrument. Over the years something or the other just stuck with me — I used to play sports, I would debate, I would do anything that would keep me out of class. But over the years when education becomes a crucial part of your life, you have to start letting go of things. So by the time I graduated, music was the only thing that was left for me. I was sure from the beginning that this was something I wanted to organically pursue so I prioritised it accordingly. I studied music further when I went to the US for four years, where I did my degree in Music Performance. My major was in guitar with a minor in songwriting.
How did Looop Lapeta come about? Tell us a little bit about the music of the title track.
I met the producers of the track, Mayank Mehra and Siddhant Mago, a couple of years ago through a mutual friend and over the years, we stayed in touch. I was playing a show in Mumbai in 2019 and they reached out about coming for the show. The next day, they liked the performance so much, they called me to the studio and we recorded a few samples. We actually started working on some jingles first. So, I did a couple with Oyo, Disney+ Hotstar, Goibibo and others and then Looop Lapeta came via them through Chrome Pictures. They just asked me to come into the studio and try the song out which the producers liked. The lockdowns happened right after so the movie was halted but over time they came back in between the pandemic asking me to try the song again. A couple of months down the line, they released the song.
They did not particularly know of my gender identity, in terms of the casting members or any of the team involved, since I was only in touch with the music producers. It was only after the release that they knew and they were very vocal and accepting. There were also elements of gender and sexual identity in the movie itself so it was a very inclusive experience.
In a previous interview, you mentioned that you wouldn’t like wearing a sari or lehengas and wanted to wear suits. When did you realise that you might identify as trans?
As a kid, identification through such terminologies is not something you are aware of, it’s not told or taught. I knew it from the beginning, as far as I can remember, and I was very clear about this in my head. I had even told my parents to address me by a different name. Of course, then they had taken it as a joke and I have no memory of it.
The instance was at my aunt’s wedding and all the guys were in suits and the girls were in lehengas. I cried and asked them to change me into a suit. As soon as they did that I was fine but these are instances I don’t even remember. Only when I became a teenager, and I had access to the Internet that I started looking for terminologies. But, it’s not something where you take a quiz on Google and get a nine out of 10. It’s a process and you have to own your journey. It was only after I went to the US I saw that there are communities you can speak to and ask these questions. That was the first time I was able to put a label on it, but I always knew I identified as a man.
Sensitisation does not necessarily have to be towards the community, it is something you need in life, says Jay
Can you give us a glimpse of your journey with discovering your gender identity? What kind of challenges did it bring?
The first struggle is always mental because you know that you are not aligning. So, my journey was a lot about how I saw things happening in a certain way in a patriarchal setting. So, I would behave like a boy, and play cricket and sports to affirm myself in a social setting. That’s how it started, but over time I realised that there is a lot more to it. As a child, you don’t have access to the resources. You don’t know what to look for, what the terms are, if there is a community, if it is safe to speak about this. Of course, there are also jokes about it and especially as a trans man if you talk about how society perceives it, then the understanding of the transgender community is usually only limited to the eunuch community. Whether it is about representation in movies or socially, you have to sit down with and speak about who, what and why you are. People will usually not take the effort to do some homework. The resources are available now but still, you have to come out each and every time.
Who were your biggest allies through this? And how do you think we can be better allies to trans people?
My friends have supported me a lot and I am lucky that eventually my family has come around and supported me strongly. There are three easy steps to being better allies. Number one, ask questions, and not necessarily from the community. Look for things, if you don’t understand something then just ask someone. Take that ownership about unlearning the biases you have. The second is being sensitised. If you are asking someone something, make sure you are asking in a proper way. Sensitisation does not necessarily have to be towards the community, it is something you need in life. It’s about how you address people in general. If you are confused just use they/them as pronouns, share your own, ask others theirs and build that safe space. The third point is to take a step. If you see someone cracking jokes or not understanding, take that ownership to correct them and share the knowledge. These very simple things make you a good ally, you don’t really have to go out of your way.
Jay is planning on releasing some of his independent music soon
You identify as a trans man and you are a musician. Do you mind being labelled as a trans-artist? Is it difficult sometimes to separate your identity as a trans-man and as an artist and keep them as independent entities?
I don’t think gender has anything to do with my profession. That’s who I am and me being a musician is a part of who I am. My gender identity and professional skills are not cohesive, they are a part of who I am independently. So, I am a trans-man and I am a musician, I am not a trans artist. There is no such thing.
For people on their own coming out journey — do you have a message you have for them?
Take it one day at a time, figure out who you are and what you are. Don’t try to fit into what society is trying to tell you. It’s a spectrum and you can be anywhere on it. Just figure out what you like, who you are and who you want to be and I’m sure there will be a label that would suit who you choose to be. It’s a journey and you don’t have to be the same person you are today.
We checked your Instagram and saw you're the co-founder of two pages @thequeerplexus and @crescendo018. Can you tell us about them?
Outside of being a musician, I am also a music educator. I have been teaching for the last 12 years and I started my own music school back in 2012 called Crescendo Institute of Music, so that is the crescendo page. We scaled it into two physical branches in Delhi back in the day. But after I moved out of the city, I’ve only been teaching online. Currently, I teach under the same banner and only take selective students.
Queerplexus was a passion project I started last year. I did an online course and after a long time, I was back in the education spectrum and was randomly told that there will be assignments that we have to do in groups. That instantly made me uncomfortable because that meant I had to come out to some random people. That triggered me and I backed out from the course at that point. It just reminded me that despite being publicly out there, if this is something that triggers me then how will the others feel? I spoke to 200 people from the community out of which 95 per cent of them said that if they are out in their workplace it will hamper their growth or make it difficult for them to land a job. There are many companies, especially multinational corporations, which have taken steps to ensure these biases are cast out and people can be whoever they are, even in the workplace. Since it is not a common sentiment, I built this page where professionals and upcoming professionals can join the workforce and network with each other and find that safe space outside the community holdings and in professional settings.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Ck0YmCIvpNg/
How has it been collaborating with Absolut on this campaign?
It has been the smoothest campaign I have been a part of so far. They have been considerate and sensitised throughout the process. From what I wanted to present, how I wanted to present, and what I wanted to say, they wanted me involved every step of the way. The team and staff were sensitised to make sure you were addressed properly and made me comfortable. I am glad it was one of the first campaigns in India on a scale where we spoke about different identities and people enjoyed watching that.
I remember I was travelling from Bangalore to somewhere and I was stopped at the airport and asked to show my ID card. Usually, when you’re going through a security check you can self-identify and go to any of the lines. But that particular security officer stopped me, checked my ID card without my consent and asked me to join the female line. The security personnel in that line had seen the Absolut advertisement and apologised for the behaviour. So, I could see the impact Absolut and I tried to make and it made me proud.
Coming back to your music, what's on the cards next?
I am planning on releasing some of my independent music so hopefully, there will be another release in August and I’m also planning to hopefully release an EP at the end of the year.
