If you don’t consider Netaji’s marriage to Emilie Schenkl abroad, my mother’s was the first love marriage in the family, in Kolkata, which was not the usual occurrence in the 1940s. Her father, Sarat Chandra Bose, had suffered a heart attack. His son Sisir, my mother’s elder brother, was in Vienna, completing his medical degree. He had left his father in the care of his uncle Dr Sunil Bose and a friend, Sachis Ray, who would visit 1 Woodburn Park — Sarat Bose’s residence — every evening to check his blood pressure and conduct a general check-up.
My father Sachis Ray was then a medical student at Calcutta Medical College. Born and brought up in Rangoon, he was new to Calcutta. The family had evacuated Rangoon overnight during World War II. They left everything — all their three properties, their clothes, books, documents, photographs, musical instruments — and left for Calcutta with a small bag each. Half the family trekked, landed first in Dhaka and then moved to their house in Calcutta. The women and children, accompanied by Sachis, took the ship to Calcutta. Though he had already done his graduation in Rangoon, he’d always wanted to be a doctor and so got admitted to Calcutta Medical College. Here, he met my mother’s elder brother Sisir. With Sisir, he got involved with the Azad Hind Ambulance service — the headquarters of which was the Elgin Road house, which we know as Netaji Bhavan.
Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru at Dum Dum airport in the mid or late 1950s, flanked by Roma Ray and her sister Chitra, with Padmaja Naidu and Dr Sachis Ray on the right
A ‘Fashionable Young Man’ visits the Bose household
When Sisir was leaving for England, his father had been diagnosed with a heart disease. Sisir requested his friend Sachis to come and check on his father while he was away, which is why my father started to visit the Bose household at 1 Woodburn Park. My grandfather developed a great fondness for him. He was smart and suave — he took a lot of pride in dressing up and drove around in his cars. Sarat Bose was very impressed with him – “My Fashionable Young Man.”
This is when he met my mother, Roma. She must have been about 20, just having completed a Bachelor’s degree from Asutosh College. He was nine years her senior. They carved out time to talk when he was at the house every evening. They never went out, of course. Their meetings always happened at home. She was teased by her siblings who sensed something was up. Her younger sister, Chitra, would playfully threaten to tell their parents.
February 7, 1950: The wedding at Woodburn Park. (L-R) Roma’s mother Bivabati, Sachis Ray, Roma and Sarat Chandra Bose
When my father approached Sarat Bose and told him that he would like to marry Roma, Sarat Bose was overjoyed with this. My father was very independent-minded and dynamic. When they were getting married, the wedding cards were being sent out by the family, but my father made out his own wedding invitations as well, to be sent out in his own name. When he went over to seek Sarat Bose’s blessings, my grandfather presented him with gifts and a bouquet of red roses, saying, “I’m giving this to you but life is not a bed of roses. Don’t let this upset you, but life has to be faced with all its impediments.” Theirs was a beautiful relationship.
The wedding card which was sent out by Dr Sachis Ray for his own wedding
Voyage to Vienna
Some months after my parents got married, my uncle (Ray’s elder brother) sent him to Vienna for post-graduation. My uncle, Sisir, had moved to London by then. My mother was pregnant by the time they were preparing to go to Vienna. My father decided that they were not going to tell the family that she was expecting, because no one would let her travel in that state. So they went off without telling anyone! My father had immense self-confidence and was prepared to take on the risks single-handed. He always told us that the word “impossible” has never existed in his dictionary. He would always make the impossible possible!
My mother was very unwell on that ship to Tilbury. She suffered sea sickness compounded by morning sickness. In London, while they were staying with relatives she would throw up secretly so no one would know she was pregnant till they got to Vienna. In Vienna, Sachis Ray handed over his wife’s charge to his professor, a well-known gynaecologist in Austria — Dr Tassilo Antoine.
Sachis and Roma Ray with Austrian friends at the famous Spring Ball, in 1952
Vienna became their second home since their first child, my brother Ashis, was born there. Of course, my grand uncle Subhas Bose’s wife, Emilie was also there with her daughter and mother. She was a very loving, affectionate person and met my mother almost every day and Emilie became like her substitute mother in Vienna.
Professor Antoine’s family became very close to my parents. Antoine’s daughter and son-in-law (who was also a doctor) struck up a great friendship with my parents and the young couples went on to share an apartment, even after they all had children. The Antoines were incredibly welcoming and hospitable. The professor was a very respected man in Vienna. For instance, he used to have a box of his own at the Vienna Opera and they’d be invited to the Spring Ball, which was a grand affair. He would involve my parents in all his social activities, so they had the privilege of seeing a very different aspect of Vienna, for the two years they were in the Austrian city.
Roma and Sachis Ray with their children Ashis, Mitali and Piali (right)
‘My parents loved me, my husband was very affectionate, and my children look after me’
My sister Mitali and I were born in Kolkata. We grew up in my father’s ancestral house in Ballygunge. The Rays and the Boses couldn’t be more different. When my mother got married, there used to be a clear distinction between Ghotis and Bangals. The Rays were very Bangal in their ways, and they’d also fight loudly, have loud exchanges, which my father greatly disliked. He was a disciplinarian in the midst of a very undisciplined family. My mother discovered that he had little to do with his own siblings, which was strange for her. He was far grumpier at home than he was with the Boses. He would always protect her from any joint family conflict. But by the time they came back from abroad, things were different. An uncle once commented that my father was “a changed man” after getting married, and he attributed this change to the stable and happy family life that my mother provided.
In Vienna 1948: (L-R standing) Roma, Emilie, Chitra, (L-R sitting) Bivabati, Sisir, Anita, Sarat. Later (right), Sachis and Anita in Vienna 1951
My father, Dr Sachis Ray, passed away in 2007. He was almost 87 years old. My mother took his passing with great calm and stoicism. Her grown-up children had become her support as well. She had always been very dependent on him even though he’d wanted her to have a career. My mother was not an ambitious person. Neither has she had any expectations of anyone. She has always been mild-mannered, soft, easygoing.
Even now, at 93, she is always cooperative, adjusting and understanding. I’ve never known her to get into a disagreement with her siblings or children or her husband and in-laws. In fact, she’s quite a role model for her simplicity and unassuming demeanor. She has never expressed any desire for anything. In fact, she’s always considered herself rather lucky and has told us, “I’ve received a lot in life. My parents have given me a lot of love, my husband was very kind and supportive, and my children look after me. I have no wants in life.”
And that’s what makes her inspirational and very special.
As told to Ramona Sen
